A few thoughts about perfection…or lack there of.

Good evening, class. I ask you all to please take your seats and open up to a clean, crisp, fresh page in your notebooks and ready your freshly sharpened #2’s. Because, I am only going to give this lecture once.

Tonight’s lesson is about perfection.
or..
relentless pursuit of;
or the lack of;
or the insistence of;
or the practice and the subsequent failure of;
and finally, the conflict that arises when one wants perfection (and I’m not talking “perfect” perfect, I’m talking about giving yourself that much-needed push to take it to the next level and grow) but the other four want mediocrity. The other four are happy with mediocrity, with stasis with being just okay. And it doesn’t make these four “bad, lazy failure”-types, not by a long shot. These four are talented, creative and pretty fantastic people. The problem is that a member of the aforementioned creative group ( okay..fine..it’s me.) isn’t comfortable with presenting a project that is just “fine”. I hate that word fine. “How are you?” “Oh, I’m FINE”. Do you want to know what I think the hidden message is in that response? It goes like this..

“How are you?”
“Oh, I’m (bored, unchallenged, unmotivated, uninspired, brain-dead and numb from the waist down AND up, chronically and pathetically asleep and unHAPPY” but “fine”. And you?”

Oscar Wilde was once quoted as saying “Perfectionism is a slow, slow death”. But, I am an artist, whether you think my shit is art is your problem. I happen to LOVE my art and I can’t share something I am not proud of. So, when the other four decided that I was too “intense” for them, that didn’t surprise me at all. Not a bit. I wasn’t intense, I was just driven. And, I understand them and what they want from this, I really do. I just have a bigger fire in me that knows that making music is something that keeps me alive. And sane. And happy.

I thank them for allowing me access to their cave and letting me scream like Janis/Axel/Debbie/Iggy one night a week into a dented Shure SM58. But, continuing to sit in that cave would have killed me in the long run. So I have more to thank them for than I first thought.

By the way, I had to get a babysitter for all those rehearsals. If I did the math correctly, at $12/hour, 4 rehearsals (3 hours a piece) …well, it looks like I am out $144.00. You guys can send me a check or cash. I’m flexible.

Rock On! Rally Day! I look forward to the day 10 years from now when I happen by that cave and you are all still there…playing in the band.